The Lazy Little Girl

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Becoming me

I have spent many of my days thinking about what i want in life, fantasizing about things and not living in the moment.

Recently i have been “called out” regarding my behavior by my best friend. Now, we have had this same talk in the past. The talk about my made up world and if you get down to it, lies, i guess.

So obviously I’m not a fully honest girl. Im the master unnecessary liar. I exaggerate my life in hopes of being liked more. I bet anyone reading this thinks I’m under the age of 18. No. Sadly I’m 28 and behave this way.

But Im old enough to know i need to change. Ive lost friendships and never built close relationships because of this. So I’m on my journey.

One of my closest friends gave me a book on the Sedona method. I really think it could work but its too complicated for me right now. I need the basics.

I was recommended a book on the teaching of mindfulness. Tonight I’m buying it on amazon and will start my journey of finding myself.

Ill be updating this blog to track my progress and will get into detail with my findings. I know im not alone in my actions and maybe i can find people who also want to change their life.

Here’s to day one.

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Maybe tomorrow…..

I went to sleep yesterday with goals and a direction for the day to come. I had a plan and was excited to plan out my day. You see, routine is very important. I have never had a good one, so I’m starting to organize my life. But I’m a dreamer. I have a vivid imagination that often leaves me dissatisfied with ordinary living. I had more fun dreaming of what my day would be rather than seeing that completed. It’s now 7 pm and I’ve done very little.

But here is where the fun starts. I can say, “The day is over, better plan for tomorrow.”
But I won’t.

I’m getting to work on that list. I may have started late, but I’m starting.

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Job interview today!!!

I am interviewing at 1 today! I’m so excited!


Thinking about you

I love you jake! Thinking about you always and hope you’re feeling better. You’re a hero.

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Netflix is bad

I am watching a documentary on Burma and I’m horrified.

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Use your manners, please!

So we have a huge blizzard on the way. Even worse, I live in the impact zone. Possibly 30+ inches. JT and I went to the grocery store to get the essentials. We really needed batteries and milk. After crafting a detailed list, which I suck at, I prepared to shop. Everyone had the same idea and Shaw’s was nuts. People were in a hurry and that was fine by me. We stopped at the end of the isle where soda was 3/$12 and we started discussing if it was smarter to get that or the two liter bottles. While talking, another woman and her daughter entered into the isle an walked three feet or so in front us, browsing the chip selection. JT and I were still comparing cost while another woman with a filled cart tried to enter the isle. Now at this point, he and I are blocking one half and the other woman and her daughter is blocking the other side. Its clearly a tight squeeze to get in. The lady trying to get in starts staring at me, meanly. I was a bit startled and looked right back. She did not take her eyes from mine. JT had decided on soda and was filling the cart. After a minute (yes that long) of a staring contest I told him to move and let her pass. She rudely pushed through. As she walked by I couldn’t stop myself and said my rude comment. “Excuse me works nine times out of ten”. She glared at me and I walked away. Not good karma on my side, but excuse me would have done the trick. I should have been sugary sweet. Manners work on both sides, I guess.

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Not a bad day

Today was ok. I applied to a couple of jobs, went grocery shopping, and paid two bills. Not fun and clearly not enough. I still have time to get things rolling, so here I go….

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Officially day one

Today hasn’t been the best. I got into a silent fight with my SO and a result couldn’t sleep. That led to a late wake up. Ok, still have time. Lets see what I can do today.

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the lazy little girl

Today starts my journey to freedom. I’m currently enslaved to procrastination. After loosing my job, being boat loads in debt, and having nasty mood swings, I’m taking my life back.

For a little back story, I’m a very lazy girl outside of work. I’m a very hard worker and take pride in what I do. The reason for my layoff had nothing to do with my work ethic. It was political, but crushed me nonetheless. But after work when I went home I did nothing. Not a thing. Laundry piled up on my floor. I ran out of things to wear to work so I’d buy new clothes. I would do maybe a load a week of towels and lounge wear. Bills went unpaid, I was afraid to use my debit card, and never knew what was in my account. I was afraid of my bills and money in general. I was living in fear.

I could go on forever and explain all the ways in my life that I’ve been lazy, but that’s not what this is about. This is my journal/gateway to the outside world.

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